office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
