Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
two words: eviction party
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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