So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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