If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
