You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize