when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
