Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Boobs are out for the taking
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
