Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
