you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize