Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
