One girl and one boy is just not enough.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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