I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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