Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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