I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
