I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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