SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
