Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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