I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
