After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Alive.
So much puke
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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