ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
