Heybabeimwearingurpanties
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
