Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize