Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Randomize
