so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
