Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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