is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
