So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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