wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
