Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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