Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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