Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
