I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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