benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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