how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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