I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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