I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
