I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
