if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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