Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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