So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Quick, to the slutcave!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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