guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Hippo gnu deer
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
