i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize