I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
