don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
