i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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