3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
