are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
