Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
