I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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