I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
