HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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