dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
no you cant smoke seaweed
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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