Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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