Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
