seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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