I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i think im in europe. pls send help
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize