Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
