She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize